New years eve 2009.....pt1

I pull up outside the lovely stone cottage set back from the main road. It`s about 1.30am & people are heading off home after the nights festivities. I wasn`t meant to be working but my car had been in the garage the week before christmas & funds were low. My boss had promised me working new years eve would be well worth it financially. Another reason to work the evening was because my better half had been called into work, because one of her staff had phoned in sick at the last minute. Strange that eh?
Our plans had been scuppered.

There was still a party going on in the beautiful stone cottage & sounds of merry conversation wafted out the open front door. A very elegant woman appeared at the door & waved to tell me they were on their way out. Shortly the woman came out with two children, a boy & a younger tired looking sister & got in the back of the car. She said "There`s one more yet" she said "....& can i apologise now?"
"What for love?" i quizzed.
"Him!" she said pointing at the figure just coming out the front door now.

Staggering out the frront door was a man who can only be described as a paraletic Mr Bean-type character. Loudly waving & swaying & shouting his goodbyes to everybody in the cottage (& street) He looked like he`d just been woken up after a bit of a 'sleep off' time. The elegant woman seethed under her breath "Look at him! He`s ruined the whole night for everyone"

The bloke staggered into the front passenger seat, took a double-take look at me & said "Ow-doo Abdul" I just smiled & asked the woman if we were ok to go. She said yes.

As we drove down the road, the pissed up bloke kept turning to look at one of the kids & saying something. The woman suddenly erupted...."FOR GOD`S SAKE BRIAN!! JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!! YOU`VE BEEN AT HER ALL NIGHT!!!CAN`T YOU SEE SHE`S FRIGHTENED!!!"
He said something like "easy tiger" to her, then looked at me & said "women eh?".

Finally we arrived outside their home. The bloke, trying to be a clever arse said "She`s paying" & tried to jump out....leaving his wife to pay. As he jumped out, he tried to push the passenger door closed, but his momentum (& drunkeness) made him stagger backwards. He missed the door with his flailing hand & slowly as if in slow-motion, staggered backwards falling the entire width of the road. His fall culminated with him tripping over the opposite curb & him careering over backwards into a neighbours garden. It was an absolute comedy classic!! The bloke was out cold in a neighbours garden. One of the kids said something & the elegant mother shouted "In the house kids. Leave him there!" She was mortified & totally embarrassed by her husbands antics. She paid me & apologised, saying "i bet you get this all the time?"
I smiled & said "No love. He`s the only one"

The woman got out & went in the house, leaving her flat out husband on the lawn opposite. I drove off with tears rolling down my cheeks......