How much is it gonna cost love?

I pull into the cul-de-sac & toot my horn. Shortly the woman comes out & gets in.
"Hello love" i say "where we off to?" i chirpily ask.

"Oh, err....i don`t know what it`s called.Turn right at the end & head off towards town" she says.

I do as she asks....

Then comes the best question i`ve had all day.

"How much is it gonna cost?" she asks.

I DON`T KNOW, COS YOU`VE NOT TOLD ME WHERE YOU`RE EFFING GOING YOU STUPID COW!!!....i think to myself.

some people eh!

Have you ever seen one of these?......

I pull up outside the local library & the guy gets in. He sits in the front passenger seat next to me & he`s holding a ream of loose A4 sized paper. He tells me where he`s going & we tootle off.

Not far into our journey he shows me one the pieces of paper he`s holding. It`s a printed off photograph of an old 70s-style blue & cream ford transit ice-cream van.

"Have you ever seen one of these?" he asks.
"One of what?" I ask.
"One of these blue ice-cream vans!" he says.
"err, no. I`ve not seen one like that" i say in a puzzled way.
"Well you won`t, cos I`M THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO!!!" he shouts excitedly.

"Oh...." i say.

He then flicks through the ream of photocopies, showing me what must be 50+ copies of the same picture. He looked very pleased with himself.

I am baffled & a bit worried & want the journey to end quickly.....