I`m 93 you know.....

There`s a lovely old dear i pick up quite often. I take her to the hair dressers, shopping, to the bank & for medical appointments (doctors, eyes, ears, feet etc...)
She is a wonderfully posh old lady who revels in the glory of telling everybody who`ll listen, she`s "93 you know".

When i say she`s lovely, i mean she is lovely in a 'hard work' kind of way. She brings doddering to a new level & can be quite a test to your patience.

One day i picked her up, or rather collected her. It took me nearly five minutes to walk her from her door, up the short garden path to the waiting car.
"You`ll have to hold my arm & help me. I`m 93 you know" she pointed out to me in her shaky but very well spoken voice.
Another 5 minutes later, i had her seat-belted into the car. We were ready to roll.

I asked where she wanted to go today. She told me a visit to the bank & then the opticians. So off we went.

Upon arrival at the Barclays bank in town, i managed to get the single parking space outside. It took me a couple of minutes to get her out of the car & then another minute or so to walk her the fifteen feet to the bank. It was busy inside the bank. All three of the manned points were queued at least five deep. She walked straight to the front of the nearest queue, saying "I`m 93 you know" & then demanded to speak to the manager. One of the bank staff came around the side of the counter & we led the old dear to an available desk. "Can i help you madame?" He asked.
"Yes" she said "....I`m Mrs ##### (i`ll not mention the name) & i wish to make a deposit"
The guy looked at me. I looked at him & shrugged my shoulders in an 'i`m only the driver' kind of way.
"Err, ok madame. We can do that for you. How much do you wish to put in your account?" he asked.
"ten pounds." she handed an envelope over with the money in. "i`m 93 you know"

Five minutes later, the bank guy & myself were walking her out of the bank & back to my car. On our way out i saw a female traffic warden hovering around my car.
"I`m sorry about this love" i said "I didn`t realise i was going to be this long"
"You can`t park here" she said.
"I know & i`m terribly sorry, but i`ve got this elderly lady who cannot walk far & she had a bank appointment"
"That`s not my problem" was the response i got form the warden. She was about to write a ticket out.
By this time, the old dear & the bank guy had arrived at the car.
"What`s all this?" asked the elderly lady.
"I`m getting booked for parking here" i explained.
She turned to look at the female traffic warden & blasted her. "Now look here! I am 93 you know! & i cannot walk very far. Now you stop what you`re doing this instant & leave us be!" To my amazement the traffic warden, not wanting an altercation with a 93 year old woman backed off & told me to "be as quick as possible".

Next stop was the opticians in Morrisons. Another 5 minutes of getting out of the car & extemely slow walking into the store & finally into the opticians.
"Hello. Can i help you?" asked the young girl at the counter.
"I wish to speak to the manager" said the old dear. "...i`m 93 you know"
Again the assistant looked over to me for guidance. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn`t know what she`d come in for.
"Ok. I`ll go & see if he`s available" said the assistant.

Two minutes later the girl appeared with the shop manager. He introduced himself & asked how he could be of assistance. "I`m Mrs ###### & i`m 93 you know. Do you have a card?" The guy looked puzzled & glanced over to me. I said "I`m only the driver"
"A card?" he asked her.
"Yes. Do you have a card?"
"What sort of card do you mean madame?" he asked.
"A card with your number on"
"number?" He asked.
"Yes. So i can ring you to make an appointment"
"Oh...." he said with a tinge of relief "Do you wish to make an appointment?"
"No! I wish to have a card with your number on, so i can make an appointment!" She rattled back at him with more than a hint of annoyance.
"I like to use my telephone" said explained "I`m 93 you know"

Eventually, the old dear got her card & all three of us helped her out of the shop & back to the car. It was a five minute journey back to the old dear`s home & another five minutes helping her out & walking her down the short path to her door. I got about three more "I`m 93`s" during that short period of time too.

All in all, i`d driven, fetched & carried for nearly an hour & half & felt mentally exhausted. The lady paid me & said she`d require another taxi later in the week.

Do you know what? I can`t bloody wait til she`s 94!!!